Monday, June 9, 2014

When Are You Ready For Life?

He came into my life when I wasn't looking for him. And now he holds my hand while he shares his dreams. And this is the part where you may expect me to go into a gushy monologue but for everyone's sake, I won't.

My admiration for this man grew so much when I saw his calm defiance against false wisdom around him. He is not easily swayed, and scripture is his first and last dictator.

Something else that astounded me about Kyle is that he has such an amazing grasp of priorities--quite different from the average 20-year-old, and wisdom beyond his age.

His biggest reservation was that I wouldn't be willing to enter a relationship with his long road of med-school ahead. And it's sad that he had to fear that. As Christians, I wonder if we have a skewed and un-biblical mentality about adulthood, careers, successful beginnings, and relationships.

The wisdom of the age would tell us to wait until he's done with college. Wait until you're both "ready." Really, what does ready mean? Ready to face trials? Ready as in financially secure? Ready to finish living for ourselves? It's an interesting word, but it denies the sovereignty of God, and our need for utter dependence on Him. If the time comes to enter into marriage, we may not be ready by the world's terms, but we will be willing to figure it out together.

What's more, we are never quite "ready" for marriage, and the becoming and growing and learning is a thing to be done together. Adam wasn't "ready" for life. He needed help. His wife completed him and together they were able to tackle the hard things.

Kyle is prepared for life ahead, but he isn't ready. He has plans and dreams, but falls back to these words that first stirred my heart..."It's really whatever God has for me."

Guys you don't have to be ready. If you feel you are, undo it, because you're missing something. You don't have to have a fortune in your savings account. You don't have to have a dream home. A willing heart that leans on God's plan is really all you need.

With Kyle, I am willing to walk into anything. I used to think about my "someday" relationship with the mentality "can he fill all my needs?" But that is not how Scripture defines the duty of a relationship. I am to give my all, I am to be "looking to the needs of others."

Am I expecting whatever road lies ahead to be free of trials? No. Are we promised ease and dreams fulfilled just because we're Christians? Absolutely not. One of the most important callings in this life is to sacrifice ourselves to one another daily. That is the bedrock of a lasting relationship.  And it's a calling I'm willing to accept with God's grace.

Related articles:
I wasn't Ready for Marriage
I wish There Was another word besides 'Courtship' 

1 comment:

Bri S said...

I just wanted to say congratulations!!! I have read your blog for almost four years now, and you have blessed me so much through your writing in that time. I am so thrilled to hear how the Lord is blessing you, and I know that Kyle is getting a tremendous blessing in you, too :)! The world needs more Christian doctors, what a ministry for him, and you as you help him :)!
Blessings to you both through our Lord,
Bri :)