Virtual Flirtship

"Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe." 1 Timothy 4:12

"There are plenty of people who have technically kissed recreational dating goodbye, but are still looking for romantic flings outside of marriage. They want the fun of being in boyfriend-girlfriend relationships without purpose or commitment. Enter flirtship, the popular new alternative to dating and courtship. It’s like dating, only you don’t go out – you use email, chat, or phone, or just pair off whenever you’re in the same vicinity. Either way, you’re definitely – though not officially – well, apparently, anyway – boyfriend and girlfriend." Excerpt from It's Not that Complicated by Anna & Elizabeth Botkin

A young woman once said to me : "I am convinced it's really good if girls be discreet in the way they talk to guys and how often they talk. I mean, it can send a guy the wrong message if you are just constantly talking to just him in a crowd and it may be stirring feelings in him that you had no intention of stirring when you are just trying to be a friendly sister in Christ."

Then she proceeded to talk about a guy she had been emailing for several weeks, two or three times a day. When asked why she thought this was appropriate, but the scenario she described wasn't, she replied "Oh it's not the same online!"

Are we not all guilty of this mentality?

Facebook: From hearing from and witnessing friends, I believe this one of the biggest ways for guys and girls to cultivate 'unintended' relationships. It's just too easy once you're friends to resist posting comments on their walls, sending a message a day. Pretty soon, both are confused about the other's actions and are trying to interpret them. In very extreme cases, Facebook relationships can lead to running away from home to be with your 'special, new found friend.' You may think this sounds a bit drastic, but I personally know of two cases where this has happened.

It's also a way for young people to communicate without their parents necessarily knowing everything they're saying. As with everything else, something that may start harmless has the potential to become dangerous if extreme caution is not exercised.

"A man's harvest in life will depend entirely on what he sows. If he sows for his own lower nature his harvest will be the decay and death of his own nature. But if he sows for the Spirit he will reap the harvest of everlasting life by the Spirit." Galatians 6:7-8

Email: Because emailing doesn't allow for accountability in conversation, caution should be exercised here as well. A wonderful practice to get into is sending an email (with the opposite gender) to your parent's inbox as well, and letting him/her know you are doing so. This lets the parents and the person know that you wish to respect them and keep yourselves accountable so that conversation doesn't become unhealthy.

Blogging: Even in the blog world we must be careful and limit comments on each other's blogs. If you're leaving comments on every post and lengthy or gushy conversations take place, it can be very misleading. However, I see nothing wrong with reading the opposite's posts, for it is good to get perspectives from the opposite gender.

"But what if the guy/girl is the one being bold in their attempts to talk with/be around me?"

Well, you can either get graciously bold back, or involve your father in it. That is one of the many blessing of having fathers; once you involve them in struggles they can step in and intervene when we don't want to appear rude and burst the person's bubble so to speak.

"If Romeo seems smitten with you and showers you with attention and compliments (and is exactly the sort of Montague your parents do not approve of), you can make it very clear in your cool but respectful manner that you are not interested in sharing a balcony scene with him." Excerpt from It's (not) that Complicated

"Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life." Proverbs 4:23

Are we conscious enough of our actions through our fingertips?

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Philippians 4:8

(Guys, just because I wrote about blog commenting doesn't mean I wouldn't like to hear your perspective of this subject:)

Guest Post: Communism in the Cartoon

A knock sounded on the door, “Livy? You in there? I come in?” I opened the door to the biggest grin her little face could hold. “Whatcha doin’?” She questioned as she snuggled her warm, little body closer. “Can we watch a movie? Just a lil’ one!” My mind scrambled, short innocent movie suitable for a 5 year old?? Then it came to me, my favorite cartoon from my childhood, she’ll love it! The Smurfs! Who wouldn’t love the little blue people? I search youtube looking for a 10 minute clip. Finally I find my favorite one, Jokeys’ Funny Bone. I was way more excited about than Mallie was.

About half way through it, I start freaking out. Epiphanies are not calm episodes for me.

Newsflash: THE SMURFS ARE COMMUNIST.

I felt cheated, lied to, gullible. I had been fed a line of garbage as “fun” and “cute”. Poor Mallie didn’t know what was happening, she knows now that everyone should not be the same color and that everyone should not have the same size house. After lecturing the poor 5 year old on why the cartoon was not okay she decided to go play with the other kids.

Think about it; everyone, except Papa Smurf, is the same color and wears the same uniform. A classless society where everyone lives in the same size house and does the work assigned by Papa Smurf.

Anything that is art form, has a bias.

"When art is involved people tend to insert their political views as much as possible. When it comes to entertainment, people let their guard down, they relax in more than the physical sense of the word. Art form (which involves media/entertainment) influences more people, with less effort than any sermon could ever achieve." Olivia @ She Considers

Imagination is Dwindling- Imagine That part 3

Television and the computer isn't the only thing that keeps us from wholesome literature and imagining for ourselves. We can apply ourselves to books galore, but are they the kind that actually cultivate knowledge? Are they wholesome and do they ooze quality and wisdom? Or do they simply entertain us and just add fluff and nonsense to our mind?

"A an excellent book has life; it releases something creative in the mind of the reader. The author has captured reality, the permanent stuff of life, and something enduring is planted in the heart."

Reading a book can be slightly compared to watching a movie. Does it just entertain us for a while? Or does it challenge our thinking? Does it make us ask questions? Does it widen our gaze of what the author is driving at?

"A good writer has something worth saying and says it in the best possible way and respects the reader's ability to understand. Language is used well. The word choices make us see feel, hear, taste, smell, decide. The action of the story and the descriptions have a crisp leanness because strong verbs and simple descriptions are used. The Bible is a model for this kind of writing."

" A wholesome and wonderful story has characters of depth, not superficial stereotypes; they inspire the inner life of the reader."

Some might argue though "Can I not read for fun ever?" I don't think it wrong to moderately incorporate some fiction. As long as it does not become the only standard for our reading habits. And as long as it is time worthy. I have made a habit of picking up what I dub as 'pleasure books' only at night after my full day of work and school and reading non pleasure/fulfilling books. I feel like I don't waste precious time in that way. And it's somewhat of a reward when you only get those books once in a while.

"Sometimes our standards are not high enough; we are content with books that don't say anything really important but seem safe...the best hope of promoting quality lies in the better education of the reader. When we give a child a taste for what is really good reading, I don't think that child will acquire an appetite for what is not."

I am grateful that my mother implemented this concept with all of us children. As a result I have enjoyed good literature from an early age.

"Good stories have an excellent spirit about them. They are an experience-imaginative, intellectual, social, spiritual- and a sense of permanent worth surrounds them. " Honey for a Teen's heart excerpts.

I have striven to make this my guideline for finding wholesome books. We should desire books of permanent worth. And above all, the ultimate guideline for all of life as well as literature:

"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." Philippians 4:8

You may go to my blog Open Book Reviews for many suggestions on books for school, family reading etc.

Imagination is Dwindling- Imagine That: Part 2

Another excellent example of a mother who prospered her children’s mind is Ben Carson’s mother Sonya Carson.

“Sonya had only had an education until third grade. After leaving her husband who was abusive, she was left with supporting her sons Ben and Curtis. Ben was eight and Curtis was 10 when Sonya was left to raise the children on her own.

The family was very poor, and to make ends meet Sonya sometimes took on two or three jobs at a time in order to provide for her boys. There were occasions when her boys wouldn’t see her for days at a time, because she would go to work at 5:00 AM and come home around 11:00 PM, going from one job to the next. She was frugal with the family’s finances, cleaning and patching clothes from the Goodwill in order to dress the boys. The family would also go to local farmers and offer to pick corn or other vegetables in exchange for a portion of the yield. She would then can the produce for the kids’ meals. Her actions, and the way she managed the family, proved to be a tremendous influence on Ben and Curtis. Sonya also taught her boys that anything was possible. By his recollection many years later, Ben Carson had thoughts of a career in medicine, though it was more of a fantasy many young children harbor as they grow up.

Because his family was on medical assistance, they would have to wait for hours to be seen by one of the interns at the hospital. Ben would listen to the pulse of the hospital as doctors and nurses went about their routines. Occasionally, there’d be an emergency and he could hear in people’s voices and in their quick movements the pace and emotions rise to meet the challenge. He’d hear the PA system call for a “Dr. Jones” and fantasized that one day they’d be calling for a “Dr. Carson.” Both Ben and his brother experienced difficulty in school.

Ben fell to the bottom of his class, and became the object of ridicule by his classmates. He developed a violent and uncontrollable temper, and was known to attack other children at the slightest provocation. The poverty he lived in and the difficult times he experienced in school seem to exacerbate the anger and rage. Determined to turn her sons around, Sonya limited their TV time to just a few select programs and refused to let them go outside to play until they’d finished their homework. She was criticized for this by her friends, who said her boys would grow up to hate her. But she was determined that her sons would have greater opportunities than she did.

She required them to read two library books a week and give her written reports, even though with her poor education she could barely read them. She would take the papers and review them, scanning over the words and turning pages. Then she would place a checkmark at the top of the page showing her approval. At first, Ben resented the strict regimen. While his friends were playing outside, he was stuck in the house, forced to read a book or do his homework. But after several weeks of his mother’s unrelenting position, he began to find enjoyment in reading.

Being poor, there wasn’t much opportunity to go anywhere. But between the covers of a book he could go anyplace, be anybody, and do anything. Ben began to learn how to use his imagination and found it more enjoyable than watching television. This attraction to reading soon led to a strong desire to learn more. Carson read books on all types of subjects and found connections between them. He saw himself as the central character of what he was reading, even if it was a technical book or an encyclopedia.

He read about people in laboratories, pouring chemicals into a beaker or flask, or discovering galaxies, or peering into a microscope. He began to see himself differently, different than the other kids in his neighborhood who only wanted to get out of school, get some nice clothes, and a nice car. He saw that he could become the scientist or physician he had dreamed about. Staying focused on this vision of his future helped him get through some of the more difficult times.Ben went on to Yale University where he got a degree in neurology.

From Biography.com. You may read the full story HERE.

Today, Ben Carson is a neurosurgeon and the director of Pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital. None of this might have been possible if Sonya Carson had not enforced and encouraged her son to open up his mind to the world of knowledge.

“If communal family life is important-if family members must feel some social responsibility to talk together as a family about life, ideas, and values-then we have to make a decision to have it happen. We can’t afford to let either the television or the computer run our lives. If we are dumbing-down our lives by not reading, we have some decision to make. Real life beckons us to reach for the highest.” Honey For a Teen’s Heart.

Imagination is Dwindling- Imagine That: Part 1

When asked why they didn't do more reading, a group of teens unabashedly gave two reasons: the television and the computer. Both become addictive. Both become a substitute for relation within a family. Neither is totally negative. In fact, our technology is amazing. But technology is not in charge of our lives; we are! ...To willingly become a slave of something with an "off" switch is failure to control life. Television may be a passive activity, but what you see does affect your values, especially if you are not used to questioning what you see or read. If you think of your mind as a pad of paper with blank sheets, what are you writing on its pages? We need to decide how we want to fill up the pages of our minds. (Excerpts from 'Honey for a Teen's Heart' on Imagination.)

It may seem I'm agreeing with the idea to eliminate television entertainment, but that is not the case. If you knew me, you would know that I love a good movie! My family has not had cable TV since I was six. Granted we do have a television with a DVD player where we watch movies. But my parents have designated a certain time for movies. We kids are content with this. I understand that my parents want to protect me and encourage a creative and thinking mind.Too much TV steals imagination and attention spans.

"Statistics show that the average young person has watched of 15,000-18000 hours of television by age seventeen."

That's a bit scary.

I'm not just bashing television. The computer is another area I have to limit myself on as well. There are so many things in life that distract us from cultivating our minds like we should, giving our imagination a chance to live. Pushing those distractions away and getting family involved in books and conversation is a way to grow closer to one another and expand imagination.

Families can have so much enjoyment from wonderful family titles such as The Chronicles of Narnia or the Little House on the Prairie books. I remember when I was eight years old and my mother introduced me to The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. I couldn't imagine what it was about! And I was itching to know. Mom had a time where we would sit down every afternoon with some snacks and continue the tale about the magical land of Narnia in a wardrobe and the oddly-named fawn Tumnus. At eight years old I was hooked.

And to this day I can't put down books. I love gaining knowledge in general. School excites me (minus the loathed mathematics!) All because my mother sparked my imagination at such a young age instead of letting me veg out in front of TV all day.

Courageous ~ Family Movie Review

"Honor Begins at Home"

"Four men, one calling: To serve and protect. As law enforcement officers, Adam Mitchell, Nathan Hayes, David Thomson, and Shane Fuller are confident and focused. Yet at the end of the day, they face a challenge that none of them are truly prepared to tackle: fatherhood." -Courageous Synopsis

In Courageous the audience gets a glimpse into five men's lives, each one with a background that was profound, or damaging in father-son relationships.

After a tragedy occurs, each one is awakened by God's calling of what real men, and true fatherhood should be made of. Each man enters into a covenant with God and their fellow brothers in Christ to hold one another accountable in their actions as the head of the household.


The action was really impressive though some might disagree with the amount of content involving drugs. (Mostly why this movie got a PG-13 rating). The audience gets glimpses into backstreet gangs and their dealings with drugs. So some questions might be raised from children about that but it was completely inoffensive and was crystal clear that what they (the gangs) were doing was wrong.

The Kendrick brother's have again created a movie that has a perfect balance of humor, emotion, action, and powerful family morals and inspiration. One moment you're sobbing, the next dying from laughter. Though I cannot do the profound message Courageous portrays justice by this review.

If you have not seen this movie, stop what you're doing and go see it now! :)

Courageous delivers a message our nation needs to hear. I walked away from this film with a prayer that the message reaches out to fathers and they embrace the vision to be Courageous in their calling.

Courageous info

Indecency: None

Violence: Because this film revolves around the police force, naturally it has violence. There are chase scenes, shootouts, drug dealings. A boy is beaten. Nothing gory or over the top.

Language: None (It's so nice to be able to say that)

Age Interest: 10-adult

Press On

"Our rotten culture didn't come out of nowhere. It came because Christian families forsook their first duty and abandoned their homes to the enemy. Let us return to our homes and rebuild a vision for godly descendants that stretches into the future...If we want to see our culture redeemed and made beautiful and pure once again, we must return to the "old paths" spoken of in Jeremiah 6:16. It is only there that we will find "rest for our souls." We must be willing to be considered foolish by the worlds. We must be willing to die to self. It is only when we die that we find true life.

Our question now must be, will we serve? Will we continue to press on and win the race? Will we see our work for what it is-a multi-generational plan to build Christ's kingdom, advance the gospel and create beautiful cultures? Or will we become shortsighted and narrow in our vision, like a mule behind blinders? Will we complain that we do not receive the recognition we "deserve" in this life? What can that recognition matter when we are aiming for the prize of Christ's "Well done, thou good and faithful servant.?"

From Queen of the Home compiled by Jennifer M. McBride.

Be Not Conformed

"And be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God." Romans 12:2

Against the flow. We've all heard it. But have we taken to heart what not conforming to the world means? Are we applying it daily in our lives?

We seem to always struggle to fit in. We want to feel accepted so we desire to be like everyone else. We worry about how we appear or what we look like; we worry about conforming instead of desiring to NOT be conformed to this world.

So why should we be set apart? What does it mean to be set apart? How are we to go about being different but still being loving in Christ?

"And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them." Ephesians 5:11

"See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil." Ephesians 5:15-16

" Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." Ephesians 4:29

"Let love be without dissimulation, abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good." Romans 12:10

"This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart." Ephesians 4:17-18

"If so be that ye have heard Him, and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: That ye pit off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts: Put on the new man, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind." Ephesians 5:21-23

God placed us here to not only glorify and enjoy Him forever, but to shine as lights for His name. But we cannot be a light if we are walking in darkness. Or as Matthew says:

"You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless." Matthew 5:13

The Bible has much to say about being set apart in Christ. These verses and many more can serve as our litmus test for being transformed instead of conformed.

Is the music I listen to "true, noble, and praise-worthy"? Am I focused on having the "adornment of a meek and quiet spirit" or am I focusing on my outward apparel? Is my conversation edifying to the hearer?

Let us be set apart, but let it be with grace. We must be very careful to not let pride creep in and destroy us. It's so easy to confuse "set apart" with righteousness. We aren't "more Christian" because we are set apart. We are set apart because we are Christians.

"For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith." Romans 12:3

I Can't, God Can

During the past few months since the April Tornado, God has taken our family down a path of hardship. Many lessons have been learned, and are still being learned. It is a difficult experience in the Refiner's fire. I am thankful for this time of hardship as crazy as that sounds. God is shaping me into who I will one day be as a woman.But there are many days when life feels so difficult. My biggest struggle is being the oldest of a large family.

Do not misunderstand me, I love my family and I love that God placed me here. But there are days when it is just as if everything I've been working towards crumbles. Relationships are the big thing right now. It takes work to combat the difficulties of maintaining God-honoring, nurturing relationships.

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." Isaiah 40:31

When you get to the root of it, relationships are the only thing in life that last forever. The impression we leave in the minds of people we have come across; the bonds we make with those in our own home; what are we leaving behind? Relationships of love and kindness and selflessness? We want that so much! To be the kind of person who nurtures strong relationships, fed by the fruits of the spirit. And I've tried my hardest but I can't do it. I try with everything in me to not fail in one of the most important areas of my life, but I still can't make things work.

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." 1 Thessalonians 3:13

Realize something though. What have I been saying? I can't do it. I. Me. This is where we all fail! It's the simplest concept but it's one we constantly forget. We try to do it within our own strength; our own weak, human flesh which can accomplish nothing without the Creator giving His creation the ability to do what He created them for. But when we don't ask, we don't receive. When we don't ask we are saying to God "I can do this, I don't need help from anyone." Pride is the root. But when we humble ourselves and plead with God to give us strength, He answers.

"Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7

This is a fleshly struggle for everyone. I think we believe that since we're Christians and naturally acknowledge God as our Lord that we assume we're set for the future and have no need to equip ourselves daily. But that's where we let our guard down! Then failure creeps in and we get discouraged and think we can't do it.

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." Psalm 28:8

"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect." 1 Chronicles 16:11

Let us not forget His unfailing promises to us. And never forget that when we can't continue, He will be with us if we only ask.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. " Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." Ephesians 3:16

The Grace Card: Family Movie Review

"I promise to pray for you every day, ask your forgiveness, grant you the same, and be your friend always."

The Mac McDonald family has long since struggled with love and unity since a tragic accident seventeen years ago and finances and Mac's emotional griefs are quickly disintegrating the already minuscule family bond. Mac constantly struggles with anger towards his wife and wayward son Blake who is teetering on the edge of ruin with his education and social life.
For seventeen years Mac has taken his bitterness and grief and turned it against everyone in his life. Mac's only source of sanity in life is his job on the Memphis Police Force as he tries to make a difference. Much to Mac's dismay he is teamed up with rising star and part time pastor Sergeant Sam Wright.
The exact opposite of Mac, Sam has a fulfilling life as a loving father and husband who serves God with his life and every action. Sam's faith is tested as he tries to show Mac what God is capable of doing if he'll realize that God has not turned His back on Mac and his family.

A very satisfying story of redemption and hope, the Grace Card is a great family movie.

Ages: 12-adult or based on parent's opinion

Violence: Two scenes of action on the force and gun wielding. And in both scenes there is a noticeable amount of blood so some young audiences might be disturbed.

Language: One use of 'freaking' and 'for God's sake'

Other: There is obvious disagreement over racism between the main characters.

This film has producers with similar goals to Sherwood films and most of the actors are not 'real' practicing actors, but surprisingly it wasn't unbearably cheesy.

Overall, a refreshingly clean and powerful film. I would recommend it for a family film night.

You can view the trailer and movie overview at The Grace Card website.

Will they Become Men or Remain Boys? We Decide

The increasing decline of masculinity among our men and boys in our culture is disheartening. Men are no longer concerned for a woman's safety, virtue or reputation. Instead they are reprimanded and scoffed at for their aid offered. Men are mocked for trying to lead, for taking up their rightful role as defender and family head, taunted for speaking what they believe regarding God's Word, and for defending our nation's Christian heritage.

But the saddest part is, those who are doing the mocking and taunting are the women. With the entrance of Marxism and feminism came the challenge to see who was the greater sex. And it's obvious by the rise of women's independence, that men are handing over their leadership and authority.

"Women now make up the greater part of the workforce and are more likely to hold college degrees, and therefore make more money. They “arrived” with their independence and now men don’t have to grow up or take responsibility. Prior to this era, men answered the innate call within them to “protect and provide”. But women have proven themselves without a need for provider and protector so men have gladly defaulted to a life of video games and adolescence." Kelly Crawford~ Generation Cedar

There was a time when chivalry was esteemed; when women loved real men, and respected his strength and differences. Is chivalry dead?

In 1912, April 14th in the dead of night as an iceberg sank deep into the hull of Titanic, men gave up their places on the dwindling lifeboats so that children and women could be safe before them. Are we raising our boys to be men of that caliber?

Anna and Elizabeth Botkin encapsulate my thoughts on this topic:

"There is a crisis facing our nation’s boys. Their masculinity is under attack. This is no longer a debate; it is a copiously documented fact, actually old news. Bold, commanding masculinity has become pathologized and penalized. We’re not just talking about the rise of metrosexuality, either; over the last century, men have been taught that their leadership is oppressive, their protection is insulting, their authority is tyranny, and their position as the head of the household is utterly illegitimate." Visionary Daughters

There are ways we can counteract this movement of men remaining boys! We as young women and sisters hold the key in our hands. Granted we are not entirely the ones to determine our brother's futures, but I believe we play a major role in the shaping of their character of who they will one day be, and how they will treat their future spouse.

What can we unlock that will change our brother's characters?

Respect: I'm going to steal Caleb's quote from Fireproof-"

If there's one thing a man understands, it's respect."

This is so true! God created men to yearn for respect. It is a sign of honor on our part, a sign that we love our brothers enough to show it through respecting them as another person. Respect is a vital part in relationships with our brothers.

Feminine Strength: Though our culture claims otherwise, we as daughters of Christ must demonstrate a quiet, feminine strength that does not pertain to us physically. So we must not challenge our brothers in trying to be physically equal that "we may be women but we can still do just as much." Let them prove themselves and feel important. It gives a boy pride when he is stronger than his sister though she is older. I will hand my brother jars to open even though I can good and well do it myself. This buoys them up, gives them a good sort of pride, a pride of protection.

Humility: I feel like this is really big with relationships. At least in mine it is. It is so hard for everyone to admit when they're wrong. And it's a very big wedge between brothers and sisters. We must cultivate a humble nature. WE must be the first to display a repentant attitude. Men respect humility and will do the same. Humility is another display of honor, of showing your brother that you love him enough to show him forgiveness first.

Encouragement: This is a huge tool with brothers. The lack of encouragement or the presence of criticism will send a boy's spirit into demotivation, and takes away any purpose that was present. But if we encourage our brothers in their manliness, even if they don't completely posses the quality being praised, it will drive them to achieve it. If your little brother has the job of sweeping the floor, and it doesn't look like the job you could do, praise him anyway! He will strive to do better to get that word of praise again.

I could go on and on with vital characteristics that would improve relationships but these four can carry relationships and chivalrous behavior a long way.

"When tempted to bemoan the fact that the men are not rising up to where we think they should be, we should seriously ask ourselves if we have been a part of the problem. Too many sisters spend their youth teaching their brothers to sit down, be quiet, stop asserting themselves, stay in their place, and take orders, only to grow up and wonder where to find a husband with guts and a backbone. The ones who pushed down their own brothers now pray fervently that somewhere out there, there were some sisters who did not do the same to theirs." Visionary Daughters

Though our situation appears bleak with what the future might hold, we can still fix the damage done. We can shape our brothers through the way we treat them; and they can become the next generation of vision; the men of purpose, chivalry; men after God's own heart.

So I have a challenge for sisters- Will you be your brother's keeper?

Softly she sings

"...Softly she sings, the music starts filling the room with an aroma of peace and quietness, baby is almost to sleep as his mothers gentle arms sway and the sound of her voice fills his ears..."

Music holds almost a spell over the human mind. It's influence can anger, calm and make you go from happy to sad in a moment. The purpose of rock is to make your blood pump, to make you angry. David played the harp for King Saul when his soul was troubled, and when it's time to clean my house the upbeat music goes on.

The music you play at home will always influence atmosphere of your home.

In Philippians 4:8 it says, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
We are to dwell on pure and lovely things. I like to listen to a little country music every now then, I like a little 70's and 80's music too. But I can't listen to them all the time because I start to dwell on them. Unintentionally I start singing along to the beat, next thing I know I am sing about cheating on a spouse, drinking solves all my problems or mourning the death of a dog I never knew. It's fun and it's not a sin to enjoy good music. But can we allow ourselves to dwell on those things? I try to listen to music I know is O.K. most of the time, then every now and then I will listen to some not so O.K. stuff.

This past summer I got to travel with an awesome family. One of the things they try to enforce in their home is good music. You know what their kids sing as they go about their business? No not Barney, not silly wee sing songs, but hymns, like Come Thou Fount is the 5 year olds favorite song, Nothing But The Blood is the 2 year olds favorite. Isn't that amazing? These kids are unconsciously dwelling on things that are pure and lovely.

Part of creating the essence of Christ in our homes is playing glorifying music. Now I am not saying all you can play is monks and classical.

Music doesn't have to be dirty to be fun and enjoyable.

Here are three ways to make the atmosphere of your home more enjoyable:

Moms, put on soft music (hymns, light classical, etc...) right before waking the kids up. You will be amazed at the difference in attitudes all day long. They have 30 seconds to decide which 'side of the bed' they are going to get up on. Influence that decision with the woo of easy music. Continue to let it play during breakfast. Whether they realize it or not they are memorizing those tunes and words. Make them words worth memorizing.

During chore time play something fun and upbeat. Love this. Mother has done it with us since we were 'knee high to a grasshopper'. It works , truly it does. The Coconut song is my favorite 'chore' song.

Play easy music when dad comes home and during supper. Why do expensive restaurants play light classical music while you eat your meal. To create an experience, to make you relax and enjoy your meal. At our house we always waited for Dad to get home from work. He would almost always be home at 4:00. We kids would run out side and ride on the back of his truck as he pulled up the drive, 100 feet or so. Then Mom would greet him at the door with a kiss and that's when we knew, school and work were over, it was time to relax and enjoy being together, to gather at the table. The soft music playing in the background may seem like a minor detail. But it sets the mood and that is important.